In today’s world, it’s rare to find someone that isn’t already dating multiple people. With instant access to potential dates in just one swipe, it’s no wonder that dating today is much more competitive than ever before. And there’s no doubt that technology has been the biggest driver of these new dating standards.
Between Instagram and dating apps, there are plenty of ways to meet new people from all over the globe in an instant. Going through a breakup? There’s an app for that.
But is of all this instant gratification a good thing?
Ok, I get it. No one likes knowing the person they’re seeing is dating around. At least, I personally don’t want it in my face. Today’s dating culture is far from traditional. It seems that dating has evolved and become more challenging as there are so many avenues to meet new love interests.
Miami-based Psychologist Dr. Richards admits he tells his patients the importance of dating multiple people and how it can benefit them in the long run. “I recommend my patients look for a friend with benefits situation rather than searching for a relationship. When you are looking for a relationship, you tend to take people seriously that you otherwise wouldn’t if you weren’t lonely.”
Oh man, I feel personally attacked. Facing the truth can be tough, but a lot of us can admit we’ve dated someone to fill a void or because we were determined to get into a relationship. A lot of times, this left us with people we wouldn’t have chosen if we were in our right mindset. So how can we avoid history from repeating itself?
Interestingly enough, experts are telling us to lose the script. Be open to new people and experiences, and stop taking dating so seriously. They recommend that dating multiple people could be for your best interest, and here’s why.
You Won’t Settle
According to experts, dating multiple people can actually be a healthy strategy. By keeping your options open and playing the field, you allow yourself to select partners out of compatibility and likeness rather than out of loneliness and desperation.
When we’re lonely, it’s because we feel that we lack relationships that feel satisfying, so we try to fill that void by finding someone else to fill it, and that’s where things become dangerous.
By dating only one person at a time, you can become dependent and needy on that person for emotional support. In turn, it will alter your sense of the reality of that potential significant other.
Instead, try dating multiple people at a time to give yourself better judgment and clarity.
You Recognize Red Flags
Keeping an active dating life with multiple partners can also help you see red flags more quickly.
With options, we don’t tend to settle for the first person who pays us attention. You will innately become more selective when you have more options. Think of it like this; you’re starving, stranded on an island, are you going to turn down the first meal that comes your way?
We tend to make excuses and ignore the warning signs that are telling us they’re not the ones. Being blinded by loneliness or desperation can cause us to miss some huge potential problems. When we are so focused on one person, these things tend to transpire.
However, by opening your options, you give yourself a better chance to find someone you are most compatible with. Dating multiple men or women can also be a lot of fun, and it should be an exciting time in your life.
So why not date around that gives you lots of options and places to eat, if you get my drift?
You Become More Self Aware
Dating around can help you learn a lot about yourself. With rejection and heartbreak, it can also build character. Through failure, we are able to look back and asses our flaws and weaknesses. And by self-evaluation, you can move forward by correcting any bad habits.
By dating different types of people, it can bring out sides of you that you didn’t know existed. You can think of dating around as a learning process of other people and yourself.
You also learn how to create your own sense of self-worth and how to bounce back from a breakup.
Even though it can be difficult to take a deep look at ourselves, it will benefit you in your future relationships.
Kate Williams has a Ph.D. in English and freelance writer. She is also the CEO of People First Content, a…
